Birth trauma is any physical or emotional distress you may experience during or after childbirth. The silence of brith trauma can be very isolating and can lead to problems that can impact parts of the parenting journey and to our sense of self. Your birth trauma is still valid if you never shared your story, others “had it worse”, your experience has never been validated by another person, it happened years ago, or you and your baby are “healthy” now.
You went through something hard and horrible. You are worthy of support.
Emotional Impact of Birth Trauma
Common experiences of birth trauma may include:
- unwanted or scary thoughts
- feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or hopelessness
- feeling alone or isolated in your experience
- outbursts of crying or strong feelings of sadness, anger, or resentment
- excessive worry or fear (often related to the baby’s health)
- sleep deprivation and difficulty sleeping (beyond the normal disruptions that come with being a new parent/caregiver)
- withdrawing from family and friends or the inability to connect with your partner
- thoughts of death or suicide
- feeling like you are detached from your body (as well as low sex drive or feeling triggered by touch)
- difficulty integrating a traumatic birth experience: flashback memories, nightmares, numbness, or an avoidance of any trigger that may remind you of the scary experience
Birth Trauma Causes
So many birth trauma survivors never get the answers to why it happened the way it did.
Why they lost their baby
Why their baby came early
Why their baby ended up in the NICU
Why they had no other choice but a caesarean
Why they were mistreated, neglected or abused
Why they were met with racism
Why they needed specific interventions
Why they ended up with preeclampsia
Why there was a lack of pain management
And so many more whys.
There are many factors – both physical and emotional – that can contribute to birth trauma such as a child birth experience that was not what you hoped for, birth complications, your baby or you suffering a birth injury, or not receiving the care or support you expected during the birth.
Risk factors for birth trauma include history of PTSD and mood disorders, complex medical and pregnancy situations, minimal pregnancy care and support, structural trauma, poor relationships with providers or birthing during COVID.
Birth Trauma Grief and Loss
With brith trauma there can be so many unexpected and unplanned for grief over the many, many losses experienced such as:
Loss of choice
Loss of the birth plan
Loss of autonomy
Loss of being the first to touch and hold your baby
Loss of pictures and videos
Loss of leaving the hospital together
Loss of first feed
Loss of being being fully present
Loss of support and understanding
Loss of relationships
Loss of sense of safety
Loss of being seen
Loss of a baby
And so forth.
Sometimes social narratives can be harmful such as healthy baby or healthy parent is the only goal, “just be grateful you have a baby” or “just relax and try to enjoy the baby”. These messages can cause us to minimize our grief or cause feelings of shame for not being able to “move on”.
Counselling for Birth Trauma
Pregnancy, childbirth, and reproductive health can be deeply embodied experiences, often accompanied by significant physical and emotional changes. Those who have experienced traumatic births can use somatic therapies to process and release the trauma stored in their bodies, potentially reducing symptoms of PTSD, anxiety, and depression.
Here is how I can help and what counselling might involve:
- explore your experience of trauma and the impact trauma has on the body
- process traumatic or disappointing birth experiences
- support you through processing losses (loss of imagined birthing experience, loss of your old self and so on)
- identify and work through fears or avoidance of future medical appointments or experiencing pain
- develop skills to manage symptoms and foster a sense of hope and empowerment
- find more adaptive and healing ways to think about the experience
- reconnect to your body
You are worthy of support. If you experienced birth trauma please connect with me here.
